Do you ever wonder why patience runs thin when it comes to dealing with the kids we love? I think I have found the reason — the real reason for losing patience with kids. Let’s dig deeper into why we lose our tempers with kids when we all really do want to be more patient.
I Feel Like I am About to Lose it…
With every argument, every tear, every complaint, my anger was patience was going down while my anger bubbling up higher and higher. For some reason, I felt as though I was teetering the edge of yelling every day.
Related: How to be more patient
These are such simple things, I kept reminding myself. Take a deep breath and relax. Have you ever had those moments of struggle where your patience just runs thin?
Parenting is hard work and many times we throw ourselves so fully into it, that we forget to take care of ourselves. Over the years, I have learned that these moments when I feel as though I am going to lose it, are warning signs to myself. My body is trying to tell me to slow down and relax.
Have I taken time for myself lately?
Almost every time when I ask this question, the answer is no. When I do not take time for myself, I am running on almost empty gas. There is no possible way to continue to pour out into those around me when I am running low myself.
Patience Warning Signs
So how do we avoid getting these warning signals? We start taking care of ourselves. It is a hard thing. As a parent, we can get lost in the lie of believing that it is selfish of us to talk about self-care, but it is pivotal that all parents practice it.
Think with me for a minute, would you rather take a little time for yourself and then feel filled and excited to be with your family? Or would you rather take no time for yourself and live a frustrated and resentful life?
Looking at Parenting from Perspective
When you are in the middle of a situation it is nearly impossible to step back and look at it with perspective.
But I want you to try next time you are running thin on patience.
Take a deep breath.
Step back not only physically but mentally and assess the situation as if you are looking at it from afar.
You can start asking questions like…
- does this REALLY matter?
- will it be important to me tomorrow, next week, in a month…a year?
- am I acting in a way that I will be proud to tell the story?
- is there something here that I can laugh about or feel encouraged?
And if you have older kids like I do now one of the biggest helps has been for me to ask myself the question, “do I want to die on this hill?” I have tried to ONLY engage and interact when it is something so important that I will follow through all the way…no matter what.
And what is crazy is when you start looking at things like that often many of the silly little struggles can just be avoided, shut down quickly or giggled through instead of losing patience.
Are you ready to take care of yourself?
- Ask yourself what would fill you up? Reading, riding a bike, coffee with friends, the gym, etc. Make a list of all of these things.
- Talk to your spouse about these. If you are married, then you need to work as a team. Have him/her make a list as well and talk about how you can make time for each other to practice these things.
- Schedule the activities in and do them!
All it takes is three simple steps and you can start practicing self care today! You can let go of the angry parent role and step into the fulfilled parent role.
It can be easy to stop losing your temper when you take care of the things that slowly creep up on you… take care of you and you will be ready to take care of everything else.
More Help for Families from Kids Activities Blog
What techniques do you use to control your patience at home?